


Cracks

by Aemeth



Category: Atomic Blonde (2017)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 08:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11733531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aemeth/pseuds/Aemeth
Summary: Lorraine is afraid of her warmth.





	Cracks

The most jarring thing about having Delphine in her arms was her softness. And her warmth. The French accent and curses in the throws of passion minutes before, that called to memory the sun, the ocean, all the things Lorraine felt didn’t belong to her anymore. Delphine smiled against her skin as she pressed her nose into her neck and made soothing circles with her hand over her breast.  
Something inside of Lorraine clenched painfully, alarmingly, so she brought up work. Reminded the unexperienced spy – though she had trouble with thinking of Delphine as a spy – of the doom to mistrust and mirage in their profession. _These relationships aren’t real. Our relationship isn’t real, no matter how real this may feel._ Lorraine was afraid of her warmth, but she didn't delusion herself.  
She half awaited protests, insistence that what they had was real. Instead Delphine watched her with calm and attentive eyes, affection making them twinkle.

“When you tell the truth, you look different. Your eyes change.”

The words made Lorraine smile, made her look away. Made her afraid, deadly afraid of this strange girl. She tried to push her away with her words again. Delphine nudged her face gently in response, and just calmly accepted. But her eyes defied. That she was in this very room defied.

“I don’t think it will”, Delphine murmured after a while of having her hair stroked by Lorraine, who only just now realized she was doing it when the younger woman lifter her head.

“What?”

“I don’t think it’s going to get you killed to be truthful to yourself once in a while. Lying all the time will. I’ve seen it happening with my mother.”

Delphine smiled and placed her warm fingers on Lorraine’s collarbone. The weight settled more heavily than possible.  
Lorraine felt the ash of the cigarette in her fingers falling to the blanket.

“Was she a spy?”

“Worse. She was a mother and told herself that would be enough for her. And her kids.”

Delphine’s smile retreated to the faint corners of her mouths and sadness washed into her eyes.  
Lorraine smoothed a finger over her forehead, unhappy about this change.

“You have siblings?”

Delphine nodded. “Yes. My brother even has a child now, a girl. She is the smallest thing I have ever seen.”

Suddenly her eyes shifted up to Lorraine’s, a different fear and eagerness in them.

“What about you?”

Lorraine pushed her cigarette out and used both hands to encircle the warm girl in her arms.  
She glanced at the harsh neon light on Delphine’s body and wondered how she would look in sunlight, outside of this cold city. She pictured her in a Californian landscape she hadn’t allowed in her mind for years and closed her eyes in alarm.

“I don’t have much of a family.”

Delphine nodded, squeezed her, and after a moment rolled on top of her, breasts pressed to breasts.

Lorraine tilted her head back to see her better. Maybe it was a pitiful attempt at distance.

“If you ever come to France you should meet my niece. She lives on a beautiful farm near Bordeaux. My brother married the owner. It’s not love but he loves the place. I do, too.”

She doesn’t ask directly. She looks playful, hopeful. Lorraine puts a hand to her cheek and caresses it, too afraid to answer. And she feels unbidden emotions cracking the ice of her eyes and she feels Delphine seeing it, all of it.

“Well? Will you come? Maybe?”

Before the smile Lorraine feels coming can take over her mouth she presses her Lips to Delphine’s, claiming them and pressing her face closer.  
They’re warm, and soft, and her tongue strong. Lorraine thinks she feels sunlight on their bodies.

“Maybe”, she breathes into Delphine’s lips.


End file.
